I always overthink things in my head. BDSM was the only way I could balance reason and instinct.
I think I'm a person of two extremes. I'm bold yet sensitive. Slow yet perfectionist. Extreme, yet cowardly. Compassionate yet cruel. I love freedom, but I enjoy controlling others. I need something to neutralize my bias on both sides. I wonder if you and I can find a balance or not. Even if we can't, let's enjoy the imbalance.
Now, come over here. I will love you so much for your clumsiness.
I can't help but dote on the beings that obey me. It's unbearably cute. I trample on it because they are cute. I whip them because they are cute. I tie them up because they are cute. I may have a feeling like a bad kid who plays tricks on the girl they have a crush on, and make her cry.
Don't say I'm cruel. I only have peculiar way of love. With my hands, let me uncover your twisted face and voice. You can't even expose your secret without me. How pathetic. I may be as pathetic as you because I get excited by torturing you.
A secret game just between the two of us. I wonder how far we can go. What colors are you going to show me?
From LA SIORA
Domina Aoi is 22 years old, freshly graduated from college. She is gorgeous without makeup, which is only possible when you are young. We look forward to seeing her become more sophisticated. She became interested in BDSM after meeting the special lady, and worked at a SM bar during her college years. Although she was busy with her studies so didn't work much, she managed to find time to get involved in BDSM.
Once she decided to get a job. It made her too busy to spend time with BDSM, so she decided to quit her job and entered this world. Piercing (no experience with putting it in men yet), chewing and food crashing... Peculiar sensibility, intelligent and perverted young lady. We can't introduce you to her enough. Please enjoy her blog. She has studied abroad and can speak English and Italian. (Joined La Siora Jun.2021)
What do you focus or value most in your session?
"Eye contact." I always look them in the eye in a session. I don't do this to humiliate them, but it's lucky for masochists who gets the kick out of it. The reason why I am so concerned about eye contact is that there are many masochists who isn't good at talking about what they want me to do or what they don't. I'll write about the episode that led me to feel this way in my blog.
Even if a masochist can't communicate well in words, there are many things I can read from the eyes. For example, if I sense even a hint of "dislike" in the eyes of slaves who is not good at talking, I ask their eyes if letting them endure it will be effective or, if I should change the approach. It may be a blessing if the dislike turns into love, but there is a great possibility that touching the dislike may cause trauma. I am cautious in my judgment, since you are dedicating your precious body and soul to me. I observe your eyes carefully before I make a decision.
So far, I've been talking about what I read in the eyes of masochists, but I know masochists sense something in my eyes as well. Most of the masochists I have met have looked down and turned away when I stared at them, and tried to escape back into their shells. When that happens, I put my hand on their neck and make them look at me. "Look me in the eye." I whispered. My gaze can be a tool to terrify the masochist.
After all, I like to look deep into the eyes of a masochist who is being driven to the brink by pain. Because the face of a frightened masochist is so cute.
Do you have any books, music, movies, art, etc. that have impressed you about BDSM?
Ever since I was a child, I have been strongly attracted to the villains in the Takarazuka stage and Disney movies. For some reason, I couldn't hate Disney's villains. They are undoubtedly doing bad things, but there is something off about them.
The music that I feel sympathy for is "Evil Like Me" from the Disney movie Descendants.
"Don't you wanna be evil like me? Don't you wanna be mean?" This is a song that will make you want to be one of the badasses because of its catchy and attractive melody. I sometimes listen to it before a session to boost my mood!
I was also influenced by the Takarazuka Revue's play, "The Case Book of Kogoro Akechi: Black Lizard." As a child, I remember being attracted to the coolness, beauty and hidden purity of the female thief, Black Lizard. I was also fascinated by the black lizard tattoos and dreamed of having one on my body someday (I still have that dream). I want to be like her, who steals treasures, cheats and kidnaps people, but like the Disney Villains, she has an irresistible vibe and is cute and pure. One day.... In the Takarazuka version, the ending is different from that of Edogawa Rampo's original novel "Black Lizard," but the setting is very sad and touching, so if you have a chance, please check it out.
Another book that influenced me was "Senpai to watashi" by Natsuko Mori. If I may say so, it is a kind of sensual novel. I read it when I was in junior high and high school, when I had a lot of sexual desire.
Two women in opposition. There is a scene where the woman who has the upper hand leaves the other woman bounded, with grated yam smeared on her private. I was struck by the scene where she says to the woman, who is gradually losing patience with the itching as time goes by, something like, "If you itch, I'll stick this carrot in and scratch you. I still remember being shocked and thinking, "I want to bully people like that!
It was around that time that I started to enjoy playing with cucumbers and sausages(sometimes semi-paniced when I couldn't get them out).
As for movies, I'll write about them after I've been exposed to more of them. Look forward to it!
I want to play in this place! What's your ideal dungeon?
This is my mansion. I don't mean to brag, but this mansion, built on a lush green hill, are quite large. The number of maids and butlers is also extraordinary.
When I returned to the mansion from my trip, several butlers greeted me at the door, "Welcome back, Aoi-sama. "It smells good. What's for dinner today?"
One of the maids answered, "For today's dinner course, we have prepared a filet mignon steak." "Oh, that sounds delicious! I'm looking forward to dinner time."
I left my luggage in the hands of the butler and went to my study. I always use the little time I have before dinner to read. I like to read because it helps me connect with the outside world, even when I'm in a big house in the middle of nowhere.
The book I picked up today is about torture in the Middle Ages. There were so many horrible methods introduced that I naturally couldn't stop smiling. I enjoyed reading for a while and then moved to the dining room for dinner.
Every day, the maids would prepare an elaborate dinner course, rich in color and a feast for the eyes and palate.
So far, this may seem like an ordinary house, but in fact, my house has a secret. In the back of the greenhouse in the garden, there is a hidden room for punishment.
My secret hobby is to inflict pain on my poor servants. Just thinking about who I'm going to punish tonight makes my heart throb with excitement.
Come to think of it, there was a butler today who accidentally broke an important picture plate during breakfast. Let's make him our target for today....
"XX, can you accompany me for a short walk at night?" I said, casually calling the butler. "Of course, Aoi-sama." And he obediently followed me. He didn't know what he would be subjected to later.
We walked together in the large garden by the tall rose bushes. We seemed to be having a peaceful walk, talking about the movies we had recently seen, the books we had read, and the events that had happened at the mansion, but my feet were definitely heading towards the beautiful glass greenhouse.
When I arrived in front of the greenhouse, I said, "Let's take a break here." as I opened the door. The view was the same as always, filled with flowers in the loud colors of the tropics.
Slowly, slowly, I made my way to the back. I didn't want him to notice me yet. After we had circled the greenhouse together, I made a suggestion to him.
"Actually, there's a room I haven't shown you yet. You might be interested in it." He nodded silently, and I made him promise not to tell anyone about the room, then I grabbed the key from the necklaces.
Click. Creak. As I opened the door, I signaled with my hand for him to enter first. He walked in, nodding lightly, as if he was afraid. I made sure that he had made it to a place where he couldn't escape from this room, and then closed the door.
Then he looks at me anxiously. I stand there, smiling at him as if to say, "It's okay." You're not going to get away with this, though.
"I heard that you made a big mess this morning. I got that plate when I was traveling in Europe. I had it specially made by a local craftsman and it is one of a kind."
"I'm very sorry, Aoi-sama. Please... please forgive me! How can I apologize?" He bowed his head apologetically.
"Hmm...how about I beat you up and put it in your body so you'll never do it again?" "What does that mean...?" "Well, you'll find out soon enough." I couldn't keep the smirk from my face.
Unable to look me in the eye, stiff with fear, I walked him to the spanking bench at the back of the dimly lit room. When his hands and feet were shackled, he finally realized the situation he was in. He flapped his arms and legs, letting out a small "this is...
" but since he was bound by the shackles, there was no point in flailing. This is interesting in its own way, so I might as well just leave it there and watch.
Thinking about this, I picked up the cane that was hanging on the hook on the wall. Checking the cane's texture with my fingertips, I slowly approached him.
The depths of his eyes are frightened. How cute he is...! I pulled down half of his suit pants, exposing his buttocks. I stroked the skin with the cane, trying to find the "right" moment to do so.
Occasionally, I would wave the cane in the air and make that distinctive humming sound, and he would start to shake. He must have been punished with something like a cane in his childhood, and the memory came back to him.
He finally said, "Aoi-sama...I'm scared..." to which I replied, "Don't worry, there's nothing to be afraid. More importantly, are you really sorry? You're really sorry about my precious picture plate?"
As I cornered him, I swung the first shot. Swoosh... crack... ugh!!! He writhes in pain as he lets out a voice that I can't tell if it's a moan or a scream. His hands were also restrained, so he couldn't rub his own buttocks even if it hurt. The only thing he can do is to stand still.
Swoosh... swoosh... swoosh...
My hand never stops swinging the cane. The sound of the air, the slightest of blows, and his sorrowful voice echoed deep in the greenhouse. These sounds continued for several hours until midnight. It was such a long punishment that even my hands started to hurt.
When we left the greenhouse, his buttocks and eyes were bright red, so he must have felt some remorse. If he did the same thing again, something worse would be waiting for him. No one knows about this room except those who have been spanked.
What kind of play is hard play for you?
It's easy to understand what is physically hard. It could be a play that leaves painful bruises, or a whip that cuts the skin, or a sharp object that stabs the body.
But I think it's harder to "endure and overcome" something that you would normally never do due to mental constraints, discomfort, fear, trauma, complex, ethical or religious views, etc. For example, for a germophobic masochist, being forced to touch something dirty (that he feels) with his bare hands under the command of the domina would be considered hard play, wouldn't it?
Even making a masochist who is obsessed with sound listen to a sound he doesn't like for an extended period of time would be considered hard play in terms of the level of discomfort. Riding in a glass elevator with a masochist who is terribly afraid of heights and telling him to just look down is also hard play.
There are many people who instinctively fear physical pain and suffering, so anything that falls into that category is easily understood by others as hard play. But even something that doesn't look like BDSM play can be hard if it pushes the mind and body beyond the masochist's limits. However, if the masochist becomes accustomed to the act after repeated sessions, it will no longer be considered hard play.
Then, I will explore your brain again to give you more stimulation. By the way, I love to "hunt you down" in both the physical and mental sense. Please tell me about your fears and obsessions in secret. I won't tell anyone.
what would you like to do when things(the COVID-19) are back to normal?
I understand because I'm frustrated too; It's hard and boring every day. I think it's very painful for distant masochists to not be able to see the domina they adore.
I, too, think that if it weren't for Corona, I would have met many more masochists, and maybe I wouldn't have had to worry so much about making a living.
But now is the time for the patience. When you endure and endure and endure, there will be a "reward" for you. Until then, let's hang in there together! After the end of Corona, I would like to have a lot of sessions not only with Japanese masochists but also with foreign masochists.
It would be nice to have a masochist as a footrest under the table while enjoying delicious food and drinks at a restaurant. I know it's hard, but we'll get through it. That's my promise to you.