TSUKASA

One is to expand the range of motion.

As long as we keep doing the same thing over and over again or set limits for ourself, we will not be able to expand our range of motion in SM play. I feel that by applying even one small load, we can expand what we can do, and discover, realize, and enjoy what we can do.

By expanding the range of motion, we can then increase the depth. I don't want to play it safe and play it smart. By taking action with a mutual determination to "go one step further today," we can have an enjoyable session that with various possibilities.

The second is to "make everything into my flesh and blood." It is to incorporate what I gain during the session into your own experience and knowledge. A designer I admire once said, "Sense begins with knowledge.

The word "sense" tends to be used in the sense of innate sensitivity or intuition, but I define sense as "the gift of accumulation and refinement" as mentioned above.

I would like to cultivate my SM sense as a domina by cherishing the things I feel and notice during sessions, making use of them, repeating trial-and-error, and making them my flesh and blood.

I may be a little different from my impressions about SM, but it was definitely "yakuza movies" that made me aware of my own sadistic tendencies. Starting with the classic "Sailor Suit and Machine Gun" and more recent "Subarashiki Sekai," "A Family," and "The Blood of the Wolves" were all good films.

The attack and defense in which strong men, both mentally and physically, who live in the world of honor are injured by violence or try to take away and destroy something like a non-negotiable core, or the despicable and painful torture scenes in which bargaining takes place with important things on the balance. ......

Just remembering them all makes my heart pound and the corners of my mouth turn up. I also love the look of despair on his face, as if a thread that had been holding him together had snapped when he realized that what he needed to protect had already been destroyed.

Oh ...... how pathetic, weak and lovable, to be strong, scary and cool. It's a great feeling to be confronted by someone who is prepared to do anything. I am sure I would be in ecstasy by screwing up such a sharp look.

The ideal dungeon is, after all, a "training gym". A gym is a great space, isn't it? What a wonderful place where you can become as strong as you can push yourself! I will be your personal trainer here.

Training equipment is great. You can pinpoint the spot where you want to hurt for sure. Let's do some lower body training this time, shall we? For dumbbell squats, make sure to bend your knees ...... and if you can't get your hips down, you'll be punished with a whip. Let's push it to the limit. If you can do this well, riding a dildo in cowgirl position will be a piece of cake.

Do some aerobic exercise, too. I'll take you to the running machine and make you run while your legs are wobbling like a scared little kid. Don't worry, I'll control the speed and the incline, because fitness is the key to enjoying SM. I also have to decide on a reward for you after you've completed your run.

If we are going to be at the gym, I would like you to accompany me in my martial arts practice. I'm actually learning Muay Thai, so I'd love to have you as my kicking sandbag to improve my technique. How about it? It would be your honor to play such a big role, wouldn't it?

I'd like to push yourself to the point where you can't get rid of muscle soreness for about a week, tearing your muscle fibers to shreds. The great thing about personal training is that you can push yourself beyond the limits that you normally set for yourself through the domination (and essentially support!) of another person, and once you recover, you can surpass your old self.

So, where shall we train next?The ideal dungeon is, after all, a "training gym". A gym is a great space, isn't it? What a wonderful place where you can become as strong as you can push yourself! I will be your personal trainer here.

Training equipment is great. You can pinpoint the spot where you want to hurt for sure. Let's do some lower body training this time, shall we? For dumbbell squats, make sure to bend your knees ...... and if you can't get your hips down, you'll be punished with a whip. Let's push it to the limit. If you can do this well, riding a dildo in cowgirl position will be a piece of cake.

Do some aerobic exercise, too. I'll take you to the running machine and make you run while your legs are wobbling like a scared little kid. Don't worry, I'll control the speed and the incline, because fitness is the key to enjoying SM. I also have to decide on a reward for you after you've completed your run.

If we are going to be at the gym, I would like you to accompany me in my martial arts practice. I'm actually learning Muay Thai, so I'd love to have you as my kicking sandbag to improve my technique. How about it? It would be your honor to play such a big role, wouldn't it?

'd like to push yourself to the point where you can't get rid of muscle soreness for about a week, tearing your muscle fibers to shreds. The great thing about personal training is that you can push yourself beyond the limits that you normally set for yourself through the domination (and essentially support!) of another person, and once you recover, you can surpass your old self.

So, where shall we train next?

■ Meaning of "hard," there are too many.

Hard, arduous, painful, intense, rigorous, ardent, strenuous, grueling, tough. ...... These are the words you will find when you look up the word "hard" in the dictionary.

A word with many meanings, and therefore, each person has his or her own idea of what is evoked by the word "hard play. I think that's fine.

That is why it is interesting to ask the question, "What does hard play mean to you?" and the answer varies from domina to domina. And I am one of the people who are troubled by this question.

Two definitions of "hard play" in Tsukasa's view: To sum up, "hard play" in my opinion means satisfying the following two points.

(1) It is a limit that can be exceeded only with a companion.

2) There must be a small sense of accomplishment.

■ There is no such thing as a limit set by a single person.

First, "hard play" is "a limit that can be exceeded only with a companion. The limits you set by yourself are negligible. Most people are self-protective and spoiled. Do you ever think, "Today I will do 30 sit-ups," and stop after 26?
Do you underestimate the number of whipping you can take?
That's okay. That's the way it is for the most part, and we can't always be so hard on yourself.

That is why it is worthwhile to enjoy sensations that you cannot experience alone in a space for two people. The companion who breaks down the thoughtless limits you set for yourself is the domina in front of you right now.

Of course, these limits are not limited to the quantitative. There is also a limit to the mental anguish that comes with trying golden shower or scat if you are extremely fastidious, or the fear and shame that comes with facing a play that you thought you hated. It is not a comparison to someone else, but a standard that belongs to the individual. Whether it is "hard play" or not is something you share with the dominatrix you are facing.

■ A small sense of accomplishment is a "small gut-punch in the heart."

Another is "a small sense of accomplishment."

I would like you to imagine a situation in your life where you use the phrase, "Today was a hard day." When you were treated harshly in a club activity at school, when you were pressed with an unexpected amount of work, or when you finished playing with your domina. When you recall the words, "That was hard," isn't there a slight sense of accomplishment there?
If it was simply hard, painful, or tough, there would be a different word for it.

When you think of the word "hard," even if there is a great deal of pain, suffering, or severity there, you may have felt puzzled by something you had never done before, for example. You may have faced play that you would normally nix. You may have been over-capacitated by pain you had never felt before. You may have been so sick of it at the time.

But when You look back on it, you can say, "That was hard," accompanied by a little bit of joy and a sense of accomplishment.
I feel like there is a "small gut-punch" that says, "I overcame the process to get there!" That is what I consider "hard play."

The Long and Short Festival by Ringo Sheena.

https://youtu.be/3LVAmMxICoA

I have loved this song since its release in 2015, but every time I listen to it again, it seems to overlap with my current feelings and I feel indescribable.

There is one episode of "me before becoming a domina" about this song.
I was a company employee, an excellent, serious, and trusted person. I understood this well myself, and it was well reflected in the recognition I was given.

One time, I had to work on a large project by myself, and before the launch, I stayed at the company every day to work. When the work finally came to an end, it was midnight.
The relief of finishing the project successfully was short-lived, and I suddenly felt the urge to do something I shouldn't do.

I took out a bottle of shochu, which I had hidden in the back of my locker, and drank it down, mixing it with the carbonated soda I had bought at lunchtime. In an office with a clear view of Tokyo's symbolic tower, I soaked my brain in alcohol and just danced with the night view. The speakers were playing "The Long and Short Festival" at a loud volume.

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How shall we go on with my peak of womanhood? I can't be done yet

The flowers are in full bloom, the colors are in full bloom, and the season is still young...

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You graduate from college, get a job at a big company, gain skills, get promoted, work again. But will I eventually get married and have children? What choice will I make?

I am still in the prime of my career, but I feel the time limit of a woman's body behind me, and I am rushed by the feeling that I have to improve myself. I wonder if one day I will be forced to make a choice and give up something. Every year I grow more impatient. But I didn't want to be caught up in all of that.

I knew I could not go on like this.
Sometimes I feel like stepping outside the framework of what society defines as a "decent human being." It is a small rebellion against something invisible. I am not stepping off the path, I am laying another rail for myself. The moment you walk there is filled with a sense of immorality and elation.

Like dancing in the office, soaked in alcohol. And like facing the masochist and doing SM after work or on weekends.
I wonder how long I can live such an enjoyable life. I want to continue it forever. I think about that every day.

My time as a domina is a "long and short festival."

With each turn of the page, I was swallowed up by the story. Sometimes I smiled, sometimes I grimaced, sometimes I scowled, and finally I laughed out loud. "Ichi the killer" is a crazy, violent action film set in Shinjuku. It was great.

Now... What I want to talk about this time is not the main character, Ichi, who is also the title of the comic ...... but about the yakuza "Kakihara" who is the other main character. With a big scar on his face and a lot of piercings, one would think that he is an intelligent and calm person like a young yakuza leader, but as the story progresses, his "masochistic" nature is relentlessly depicted. He is a lovable character who is creepy, nasty, and egotistical, but whose charm is heightened by his perversions and madness.

Such is the case with "Masochistic yakuza Kakihara." I found myself nodding my head and saying "I know, I know." I would like to introduce two phrases that I couldn't help but read and think about over and over again.

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(i) How should we view "pain"?

"Look, don't feel the pain. Think about the pain."

"It's not the skin that controls pain. It's your head."

From a torture scene early in the book. He hangs his opponent's body and repeatedly interrogates him, threatening to ruin his back tattoos, and finally, just before he pours hot oil on his back, he says these words. The situation is outrageous, but I think this line by Kakihara is very important in SM, and above all, it is a part of what I often tells masochists in my own sessions.

I think that "feeling" pain with skin, flesh, and bones is only one premise, and I want them to go beyond even "thinking" and chew and "taste" a lot with their brains. This is why I am talking about meaning and context, and I think it is ironic that Kakihara is torturing someone without "inevitability" (see below) and telling him that it is not SM. It is also a scene that I like because it is not SM but just violence, which makes it seem like torture.

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(2) Interpretation of "inevitability" in SM

The word "inevitability" is used repeatedly by Kakihara in the middle to the latter half of the story. I will refrain from going into details because it would spoil the story, but when I see Kakihara pursuing the inevitable for his own SM, being pushed around, and going wild, I think to myself, "I love it! He's having fu!" and it makes me feel excited.......

This is my interpretation, but I think that "inevitability" in SM is an inevitability which includes "a coincidence" that even contradicts the meaning of "inevitability". It does not mean a made-up plot or cause and effect. It is the inevitability that includes unreasonable situations, unmanageable behavior, and unpredictable things. I think it is precisely because of inevitability that we can "think about pain" as mentioned earlier.

That is why I think that "pursuit of inevitability" itself, rather than "inevitability" itself, is what makes SM exciting. The same goes for the relationship between the dominatrix and the masochist who are there, and even the people and environment around them are involved to imagine what is to come. Not only do we enjoy what is given to us, but we actively construct it. Based on this, I think that the occurrence of "truly unimaginable coincidences" is the despair, happiness, and SM that transcends the inevitable.

There are some violent and grotesque depictions in "Ichi the killer," but that is why the depictions that question spirituality stand out, and the energy of sexual perversion explodes in them, which I think is what makes it so interesting that the brain is swallowed up. Above all, I realized once again that I like to watch works that depict the world of yakuza, where unreasonable, unrestrained, and vile violence is rife, and where mysterious rules and justice are spread in a seemingly chaotic and distorted manner.