KYŌKO

The most important thing I focus on or emphasize in my sessions. 

I try to maintain an air of "it doesn't matter what happens just now." I think adults have stoppers that are triggered unconsciously and cannot expose themselves so easily. They unconsciously tell small lies to hide or mend themselves. 

SM is a particularly sensitive story. I think that when it comes down to it, we are afraid or can't expose ourselves so easily. Moreover, in front of you is a "domina" whose true identity is unknown. 

Is it okay if it's time like that, if it's just now, if it's just now? Can I talk, scream, expose, and trash the place? ...I want to value the atmosphere where we can feel like that, where we can feel safe with each other. 

You and I are the only ones here. It's only for this time that we're okay. That is how I feel. You and I may be living in a mimicry in society.

I hope that this is a time when we can remove our stoppers without worrying about each other. I look forward to the day when I can break the stopper of you, who may be a hard worker or shy person by day.

What impressed me...or rather made me aware of my sexuality was the Lupin the third movies. I remember being excited to see Fujiko and Daisuke in a tight spot.

I have always had the desire to make strong, good-looking people weak in front of me. I get excited at the sight of them acting strong and resisting. Of course, I also like honesty, but I used to get excited by situations where I force them to do something.

But I was worried at an early age that the desire to force another person to obey me was dangerous, and I kept it bottled up. I was a serious young lady. I pushed it away and hid it away and lived my life, but for some reason, masochistic people always found out about it.I always found myself drawn to M people. It's an amazing sense of smell, isn't it?

Thanks to the M people who found me, I am now able to have SM in the real world with the consent of both parties. I am thankful for that. That's why the characters in Lupin the third are the training partners in my old fantasies.

I want to see their strong, good-looking, sexy, helpless, pathetic faces. I want to do things to them that would rob them of their dignity. Based on a hard-boiled worldview, I want to lock them up, threaten them, and even restrain them with metal. It's romantic.

It's a complete fantasy, though.

The ideal dungeon is hell. I will be a prison guard who will torture you endlessly in a hell filled with sinners. There is no more life for you to go back to. You will have to do whatever I want in this hell forever.

I can heal you no matter how many times I wound you, so you don't have to worry about being hurt or broken anymore. You can live SM as much as you want.

Will you be able to say sorry prettily? In hell, your past and sins will be known to me. You will not be able to hide anything, not even your shameful memories. Still, confess your sins with your mouths and ask for my forgiveness, shall we?

What do you hope will happen to you in the end in hell, an environment where there is no end and no salvation?

What is it that you, as a human being, cherish to the end? What will you beg from me as your true nature is gradually revealed? SM, holding your life in my hands until you reach the hell in the extreme environment...this makes me palpitant.

The act of taking away what the person values, if I may. Since what is important is different for each person, it means that hard play is also different for each person.

If I am with a person who values his/her daily life, I will do something that threatens his/her daily life, for example, something that will leave scars on his/her body. If I am with someone who values the mind over the body, I will use acts that threaten the mind. If I am with a person who values pleasure, for example, I will use acts that controls the senses through strong pain.

I think that the part of the mind that people do not want to be touched differs from person to person. For that person, something that he or she does not want to be easily taken away, is taken away. I feel that such play is called hard play.

However, I think that SM is more about the partner than the act. Even if you think it is impossible at first, there are times when it depends on the other person.

"I would be willing to be taken by you right now." "Now, you would touch me with your deepest parts, wouldn't you?"

It would be a great pleasure if we could share a space where we could think like that.

I cannot say anything here that is too frivolous. Please take care of yourselves and your loved ones.

How many years has it been since we have been forced to live like this? Through this situation, I have come to realize that it is in times of crisis that people think and learn, and that inconvenience is what advances civilization. Online technology and systems, take-out menus at restaurants, telecommuting. Even though there has been a demand for them, they have not developed because of the status quo, but when the need arises, they will develop.

Even in the SM field, online salons and online SM have developed. So human beings develop by taking advantage of inconvenience. On top of that, "words of encouragement to masochists."

While the situation is changing for the better these days, with two or three changes, there are probably people who are restricted from actual SM play due to various reasons. I recently met a gentleman who likes to spit but is holding back due to this situation. But we are those who have the sensitivity to enjoy SM. From inconvenience to pleasure. Restriction as an idea. We are those who can play with our brains in such a way.

Nowadays, everything is free. Sexual taboos are less and less, and in a world where almost anything is possible if you have money and time. Is there romance there?

At Corona Disaster, I believe that we can experience the joy of classical, inconvenience, and repression once again. Isn't this a chance to embody classical oppression? It is not to ignore those who suffer, but it is a change of mindset to overcome. It would be a shame to let restrictions end up as restrictions. As people who have the sensitivity to enjoy SM, let's enjoy it intellectually and use the inconvenience to our advantage.

Even if you can't come to the session now. We are people who enjoy the intellectual game of SM. We are those who can enjoy various games in our brains.

With that pride, please have fun and stay strong.

I chose two songs. First, "Paint It, Black" by The Rolling Stones

https://youtu.be/flSmiIne-4k

It's a boyish song with a straightforward, unadorned scream. I like the way Brian Jones lives his life.

Second, J.S. Bach's "Matthew Passion, Have Mercy, My God"

https://youtu.be/jqj_jPnZNSE

I don't know much about music, but I came across this song through a book. It is a book that has influenced me to my very core.

It is a song that suits me, as I cannot stand without indulging in blasphemy. The sobbing melody is haunting.

Writing the column, I thought it was interesting to see the many facets of human nature.

I would like to SM in the future.

I would like to be in a place with a hygienic environment due to the development of science and technology.

The rooms can be freely decorated at the touch of a button. Whether it's a retro room that looks difficult to manage or a prison-like environment.

No matter how dirty the room gets, it can be cleaned and kept hygienic. Let's blurt it out to your heart's content. I'll make you do some pointless cleaning as punishment, though.

In the future, I am sure that technology will develop that will allow us to easily customise our costumes, make-up and even our appearance itself.

In a world where the outside can be customised, I think SM that focuses on the inside will be explored and developed. I'm excited about that kind of evolution.

No matter how much science and technology develops, I would be happy if we could enjoy communication that can never be replaced.

Do you know what to do effectively if you encounter a suspicious person in a deserted place where you cannot ask for help?

The answer is to behave in an abnormal manner, such as running out barefoot, shouting strange noises and shaking your hair.

Abnormal behaviour by people who are not rational and do not speak the language can make them feel fearful. It creates fear and self-preservation, not wanting to be involved with something that is unidentifiable.

The torture in Ichi the Killer is not rational. The torturer is wrestling with his own ideals, apart from the original goal of getting the victim to give up the information he has. In this way, the recipient does not know why he is being tortured or what he is enduring it for. The blamer's purpose is unintelligible and there is nothing to be done about why the other person is behaving in this way or saying this. They don't even know if the situation will progress if they give up information (in fact, there is no point in giving it up). This confusing situation takes away the ability to concentrate on enduring the pain.

I don't dislike the kind of confusing fear of losing track of the premise of a situation or rule in itself. But after reading the book, I hate people who can't discuss things, or who are just little children trying to get the upper hand. I can't stand to see egoists who are not hungry. I had no sympathy for them.

If you pick them out one by one, about each line, of course they make me think. But I could not sympathise with their stance, which is all insistence and little listening (or receiving). Each of the characters says what they want to say, and the conversation doesn't look like a conversation. It doesn't even look like a session, let alone catch. They don't even add up, let alone multiply. It was like watching a conversation between two inadequate AIs. (the characters didn't look like realistic people anymore, they looked like puppets of the author.)

How can people ignore people so much and have conversations with them? I want to say this because it made my head hurt. It's fine to be egoistic. But I think it's lazy to just insist on ideals and impose them on others. The ideal will shine only when you are greedily trying to upgrade it, when you try to absorb information from your surroundings and from your partner in the process of doing so. If you love ideals, be greedy. This is not the time for self-containment. If you have reached self-perfection, show us your despair.

If you reject communication altogether and then throw your own madness at it, at least show us the greed that makes the other person's madness its own. Egoism without greed is just weird. I can't be excited by that level of madness.

No matter how terrified they are of you, your essence is no different from a prowler running out with his hair in disarray. They look down on you. That's why you'll always be lonely.