RUIKO

This column is interesting because I can see the ideas of each dominas. I enjoyed reading the columns.

My "focus or the important thing in my session" is to create a moment when I can touch the slave's core. Pain, pleasure, fear, whatever I may use, I am happy when the slave stops acting, his/her shell comes off, and looks straight back at me.

It's a shame to be involved only on the surface. I think BDSM is a very effective way to remove the shell. I also have a desire to touch the core and then engrave me there.

The work about BDSM I was inspired. There are novels and the like, but since they are the classics, I'd like to talk about some of the TV drama that impressed me when I was a child.

When I was seven years old, there was a TV drama called "Ie naki ko (Homeless Child)" on the air. I'm sure you've heard of it because it was very popular.

There was a series of standard lines from Kisaki Erika, played by Enomoto Kanako, said "let Erika give you a parable".

“If Erika is a graceful swan, you're a crow picking through garbage cans." "If Erika is a sparkling diamond, you're just a pebble being kicked on the side of the road.

” I used to invite my friends to play "Ie naki ko".

I've forgotten what the original was, but the line that stays with me is "If I'm a flying butterfly, you're a crawling frog on the ground.” I felt like I needed to pee when I was recipruikoting that line. It was accompanied by pleasure. But I didn't know what it was.

It took me a long time to know that it's called BDSM. I wanted that feeling, and I thought about it every day before I go to bed every night at that time, and I still do.

My ideal is a seemingly unrecognizable dungeon. The room looks like a drawling room. First, I lead the guests there and let them sit on the single-seat sofa set up by the wall. After a talk and a relaxed atmosphere, I took the hand cuffs out of the cupboard and tie them to the iron wheel at the back of the sofa. After fixing their legs with the cuffs hidden in the legs of the sofa, the wall turns and the sofa enters the playroom. It's like a ninja mansion. On the opposite of the wall, there are whips, dildos, and electric paraphernalia on display, and that's the first thing that catches your eye. I want to change into my bondage and then show up the playroom.

It's my dream. In addition to being able to surprise the slave, it's good to be able to take a person who doesn't know BDSM into the world all of a sudden.

There's no shortage of things I want to put in the playroom. For the big ones, I want a waterboarding furniture. I'd love to be able to fix them to a waterwheel and submerge it in water, or sink the whole cage. I want a ring that can be fixed to various parts of the floor or wall. This is also for the drawing room. You can't even raise your head if I put your collar on a ring on the floor. A restraint secured to the floor would be nice too. I can fix you head and gaze always lower than mine.

A spanking table is also a must. This is pretty achievable.

I'm having a slave make me a spanking table that I can fold. You can see it in the picture, but this is still in the works. I'm now planning to make it easy to use other than whipping. Let's make our dreams come true together.

Each person has its own limit. Thefore, what the hard play means is up to the slave, and I've been enjoying the reaction of each slaves. So my first answer is that each person has his/her own hard play. Even so, slaves and I sometimes use the word "hard" regardless of "limit value".

What is the standard behind the usage of the word? What is my standard? I am likely to think that when the amount of pain is large, it is "hard". For example; in the case of whipping as a punishment, even for the same number of whipping, I feel that it is "harder" when a slave maintains a posture by himself than to restraint him/her. It's because in addition to physical pain (whipping), you have to strain your mind to maintain your posture. If I want to make the punishment hard (= increase the amount of distress), I can simply increase the number.

But it will be hard if I don't tell them how many times I am going to whip them because they will experience higher amount of mental distress, even with the same times of whipping. Likewise, the management of chastity belt can be also a hard play even if there is no pain when the slave masturbates frequently.

For while they are awake, or perhaps in their sleep, they are always annoyed, and yet they had to obey orders. I consider it hard when the slave feels that the amount of physical, mental, strength, time etc... pain is large. This is my second answer.

Sometimes slaves tell me "I'm sorry I couldn't do anything hard." It's not that the hard play is always great. Even if you play hard quantitatively, there are some slaves who feel that it is still within his/her limit. That alone doesn't make much sense. It is touching for me when you exceed the limit as we go through sessions or trainings.

In short, what matters is the chemistry of the two of us, regardless of "soft" or "hard. " Even so, the reason why we have a longing to surpass both the hardware that we judge from individual limits and the hardware that meets the size of the total amount is because we imagine that "We can reach it because we have a strong connection and a strong feeling.".

Once corona virus has settled, I'd like to have a chat with several people, somewhere in a shop. Without worrying about the time of the end. 

We argue about things that don't matter much, we talk about serious things, we make an exciting plan; if it's with slaves, we mess around; we talk about things we couldn't talk about before, we think back; our convrsation goes and so on, and someone leaves; at the end, on the street, I want to wave and say "thank you for today, see you soon!" Such an image. 

There are a lot of things I want to do, but that is the thing I want to do first. I've been using Zoom to make video calls online, but I still want to see them in person. I would like to put myself in a space where I can connect with the people after a few words in the place where the space is created by people who made the place, and the other people who have gathered there. 

I really want to connect with people after all. I want to share the time and the space with the people I love, as intimately as possible. Can dominas go out with the masochists this summer?

Before I moved, there was a new lady who was almost 20 years older than me, who joined my regular bar in downtown. She came to my house on her day off and brought me two CDs with the titles written on them with a sign pen. I put them in the player, which had a built-in amplifier. And what came out was Joe Sample.

Her previous workplace was a soul music bar, and when I told her I liked the list of CDs, she said, "I thought Ruiko would say she liked it." I started listening to soul from the novels of Amy Yamada, and then explored and started listening to soul and fusion. That's when I came across this song.

"In all my wildest dreams" https://youtu.be/l7pkattb5FQ

Forgive me if this is too long for a relay column.

I love the sound of the electric piano. It would take too long to explain how it works, so I'll spare you the details, but when I hear it, I feel like I'm floating. I like BDSM, music, and alcohol, but the reason is because I feel ecstasy. I like SM, music, and alcohol, but the reason I like them is because I feel ecstasy, and the original meaning of ecstasy is despiritualization. That's exactly what I feel. I like songs, but the lyrics leave little room for imagination.

I float when I listen to this song, and it reminds me of when I was floating. And I think the title means "in all my bubbling dreams". When I was a child, I learned the word "impermanence," and for some reason, I was drawn to it; I am happy when BDSM relationships and time continue for a long time, but I also feel the beauty of someday disappearing and things that have disappeared. We all die sooner or later, and no matter how hard we try, it will never be forever. I don't think of this as pessimism.

Do you get the message? We are floating together now, feeling connected, feeling sweet. It's a bubbling dream, I know. But it is beautiful, I think. I think we are fragile, and I think we are lovely. This song is permeated by each sweet memory and future sweet fantasy.

(When Joe Sample & Randy Crawford played "Rio de Janeiro Blue")

The theme this time is "If you could travel freely between past, future, and time periods, when and where would you go and what kind of SM would you like to do?" If I were to focus on SM play, I would like to go to the past, when the status system was strictly enforced. No, I don't want to be a countess and take a bath in blood.

I want to be a chambermaid and bring the Count to his knees.
When I step on him, when I command him, when I make him worship me, I would feel the taboo so strongly that it would excite me. It will be a strong taboo that you cannot feel in this world. Because of the strict framework, I will feel a strong stimulation when I stray from it.

But I don't want to keep working as a chambermaid, so I'll come right back to the present after I've enjoyed the relationship and the play for a long enough time.

I strongly remember one scene in Ichi the Killer.

I read it just after I started being a domina, so it was over 10 years ago and only that one time. I'm not a fan of violent expressions in movies, comics, novels, everything, so I haven't read it repeatedly, or rather, I can't read it. ...You may be surprised to hear me say that. Many of the works I have managed to read through while dropping out halfway through or feeling sick. I try not to think back to the brutal scenes when I finish reading them.

However, I do think back over and over again to one scene in Ichi the Killer. It is the scene where Ichi talks with a mysterious woman in a teleclub. The woman is a masochist and describes a situation that excites her. She said something along the lines of, "I get aroused when I imagine the feeling of despair I get when my body is sliced, starting from the tips of my toes and ending up at my heart." This must have been what she was talking about.

At that time, I was surprised and thougt "this is it!" It was the same as mine! I thought to myself. I was happy to know that there is someone in this world who has the same feeling and can verbalize it appropriately. Just to be clear, I did not want to be sliced in half. I just thought the situation was brilliant.

As I have written in several blogs and relay columns, when I was a child, I had an imagination that was my favorite, even though I didn't know it was sexual. I imagined a woman trapped in a phone booth who couldn't hold it and peed herself. There was no "I" in that imagination. I didn't know her, a faceless woman. I know now that the important part was the feeling of despair: "I can't hold it in, what am I going to do, I'm so close... oh no..." But I seem to be even more aroused by the frustration of the process of getting there than by the despair.

During SM play, I seem to inflict pain that is impossible for a calm outsider to see, perhaps because I am turned on, as a matter of course. But when I step out into the pain I inflict for the first time, for example, a strong resistance arises. Within myself.

Now, if I move my hand just a little more, something terrible will happen. When I go over it with all my might, I feel a tremendous rush of pleasure. My vision turns sharp and red.

I, who have a strong resistance to violent expressions, am excited by the process of actively approaching and crossing it. When I go beyond the frustration, the stronger the frustration is, the more I am excited.