Welcome to LA SIORA - One of the most prestigious BDSM clubs located in Shinjuku, Tokyo.

A licensed adult entertainment business, operating in accordance with the law.Please watch out for unlicensed buisinesses, those are illegal.


The name LA SIORA was derived from ...

February 1997. The interval between winter and spring, I was in "Venezia",City of Water.

Image-phote - The name of LA SIORA was deriverd from

February 1997. In the season between winter and spring,

I was in Venice, Italy. The city of water. In a hotel in Venice. It's winter, but I woke up sweaty. Two other people in my room, domina "R"and slave "Dog," were asleep. I told the dog to keep the window open, but he must have forgot. Darkness was in front of me when I opened the window. As my eyes got used to the darkness, I could somehow see the silhouette of a church, river, and reflections of the light, all in silence. It was 2 o'clock in the evening.

As I tried to sleep again, I heard a knock on the door. This late? I opened the door with a doubt in my head. No one was in there. After the same thing repeated several times, I decided to stay and guard at the door.The moment I heard the knock, I opened the door and came into the long corridor with red carpet. I did the same thing a couple of times. But still, no one was out there.

I was fully awake by then. There was no place the suspect can hide in the corridor. The dog started to growl in sweat. At the same time, R woke up.

"Hey R, did the dog wake you up? He's been annoying."

R was sitting on the bed, said nothing. She fell back asleep. All of a sudden, the air in the room became dark. There were voices coming out of the wall, and a couple, a man and a woman, emerged. The lady dressed in a princess-line dress, holding a fan in her hand. The man was in a jacket and hat, both are made with the same woven patterned fabric. They looked at each other, smiling, and walked out to the wall on the other side of the room. They were graceful, I did not feel any fear.

Once they are gone, the air became heavy. The next guest wore a white mask and a deep red cape. He/she looked like a picture from a postcard of a Carnaval. The person walked slowly, and gone to the wall on the other side. When he/she is gone, I heard a subtle sound. It became louder and louder, so I could hear it clearly.

"...shora...siora, La Siora"

I wrote down the word. The day breaks without a sleep.

I was visiting Venice to see my friend named "M." In the next morning, he picked us up to take us to show us around. I asked him if he knows the word "La Siora."

"La Siora? How come you know the word? Only few Italians know the word, it's not even on a dictionary."

I was surprised to know the word actually exists, and told M all about the previous night. According to him, many people experience mysterious things in Venice.

"Congratulations, Rie! That's wonderful! Venice gave you a guarantee that you are a true queen!"
"It's an old word in Venice, which was used to address a lady reverentially. In English, it's like "The Mistress."

I accepted the word with a gratefulness. I was on to a travel as I couldn't come up with a good name for a new club I was producing.

A gift from ancient Venice, and a timeless word. "La Siora."

~ La Siora ~

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    LocationDomina SEN joind us on May.2024.

    LocationDomina RICHE joind us on Oct.2023.

    LocationDomina MOMOCA joind us on June.2023.

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Relay Column|Our dominas talk about "Ichi the Killer"

Dec.2023 -

SMクラブ ラ・シオラの概要 - HOME - リレーコラム10

Our dominas talk about "Ichi the Killer"

Our dominas talk about "Ichi the Killer" (Manga by Hideo Yamamoto)

The theme is the post-reading impression of the classic manga "Ichi the Killer" (written by Hideo Yamamoto).

The main character is Ichi, an assassin who used to be bullied. His opponent is Kakihara, a true masochist who is destined to confront Ichi. A fierce battle of attrition ensues.

Ichi, a timid young man, has a strong sadistic instinct in his heart. On the other hand, Kakihara is a yakuza who takes pleasure in being targeted. When these two men of destiny meet, something happens!

Is this violence, power games, or even SM? What did our dominas think?

Please also refer to Wikipedia.

15th runner:Kotoko

The premise is that the underlying principle of the characters' behavior is the desire for approval.

It is a desire that everyone has ...... to have themselves seen, to be listened to, and to be recognized by others. A scene symbolizing this fact is found at the end of the story.

It is the scene where the old man, the dominant figure in the entire story, triumphantly tells the call center worker of his plans. Even the old man, who has successfully manipulated the human psyche and moved others to his will, is not content to remain in the dark and wants the reward of others' approval.

Now, while everyone seeks the attention of others, Kakihara, aka "Pierced Ma-bo," was an exception. What he sought was Ichi, who has no empathy.

Ichi does not recognize others. He lives in a closed world where only Ichi himself and the people formed through the filter of his distorted perception exist. Kakihara finds sanctity in the pure and overwhelming violence of Ichi and falls in love with him.

Knowing that Ichi would never truely see him, he poured out his one-way love. It is a form of love that is akin to religious faith, and it is the most righteous and beautiful form of love.

However, in his final moments, Kakihara made a bad move by turning around to look for Ichi's gaze.

As a result, he fell into the abyss of disappointment. He deserved it. He should not ask for anything in return from a saint.

Domina kotoko profile page KOTOKO Profile

14th runner:Momoca

The way Ichi's trauma and negative emotions from being bullied as a student lead to violent behavior in the real world is similar to what I also see when I resolve negative emotions. Also the way Ichi's violence intensifies when he is immersed in his own world, whereas he instantly returns to his normal state overlaps with my own.

I also felt a similarity with him in the way he uses his past traumas and negative emotions as a driving force in his play.

No matter how many times I read this book, I envy Ichi. People in the real world whom the old man made Ichi believe the are his abusers are assassinated, but in reality, the abusers are not dead and they are still alive, but in Ichi's mind, he has defeated the abusers and in the last volume, Ichi has overcome his trauma and has become a better person.

I think I have a longing to be like Ichi. That is why I am also trying to overcome my trauma and bitter memories of the past through our sessions.

However, I think it would be boring if I became like Ichi after overcoming everything. I can't help but lick my lips and wonder what will happen when Ichi meets his abusers again, or when I realize that I have not overcome my trauma.

Of course I think "Is it okay to let someone else control you?" "Do you really enjoy living in a fake world?" but I don't have much aversion to being controlled.

There are only a few people who can control me, though.

Domina momoca profile page MOMOCA Profile

13th runner:Kyoko

Do you know what to do effectively if you encounter a suspicious person in a deserted place where you cannot ask for help?

The answer is to behave in an abnormal manner, such as running out barefoot, shouting strange noises and shaking your hair.

Abnormal behaviour by people who are not rational and do not speak the language can make them feel fearful. It creates fear and self-preservation, not wanting to be involved with something that is unidentifiable.

The torture in Ichi the Killer is not rational. The torturer is wrestling with his own ideals, apart from the original goal of getting the victim to give up the information he has. In this way, the recipient does not know why he is being tortured or what he is enduring it for. The blamer's purpose is unintelligible and there is nothing to be done about why the other person is behaving in this way or saying this. They don't even know if the situation will progress if they give up information (in fact, there is no point in giving it up). This confusing situation takes away the ability to concentrate on enduring the pain.

I don't dislike the kind of confusing fear of losing track of the premise of a situation or rule in itself. But after reading the book, I hate people who can't discuss things, or who are just little children trying to get the upper hand. I can't stand to see egoists who are not hungry. I had no sympathy for them.

If you pick them out one by one, about each line, of course they make me think. But I could not sympathise with their stance, which is all insistence and little listening (or receiving). Each of the characters says what they want to say, and the conversation doesn't look like a conversation. It doesn't even look like a session, let alone catch. They don't even add up, let alone multiply. It was like watching a conversation between two inadequate AIs. (the characters didn't look like realistic people anymore, they looked like puppets of the author.)

How can people ignore people so much and have conversations with them? I want to say this because it made my head hurt. It's fine to be egoistic. But I think it's lazy to just insist on ideals and impose them on others. The ideal will shine only when you are greedily trying to upgrade it, when you try to absorb information from your surroundings and from your partner in the process of doing so. If you love ideals, be greedy. This is not the time for self-containment. If you have reached self-perfection, show us your despair.

If you reject communication altogether and then throw your own madness at it, at least show us the greed that makes the other person's madness its own. Egoism without greed is just weird. I can't be excited by that level of madness.

No matter how terrified they are of you, your essence is no different from a prowler running out with his hair in disarray. They look down on you. That's why you'll always be lonely.

Domina kyoko profile page KYOKO Profile

12th runner:Ririka

I have not been exposed to many manga (especially underground ones!), I read this work with a sense of excitement at the extreme expressions. I am not good at that kind of expression even though I do painful things...! LOL

Although it was not a scene in the main story, I sympathized with the old man the most.

He is the facilitator of the story, but I sympathized with his attempt to control not only Ichi, but also his friends, all the groups, and Shinjuku itself.

He said, "Controlling people doesn't work like a chess piece."

I understand that, but there are moments when I too sincerely desire to dominate. Especially in BDSM.

Kakihara says that it is the essence of domination: "I don't have any fun, so I'm just happy to let the other guys do fun things." I feel that there is an essential part of this, but I also feel that it is somehow different.

After all, like the old man, even after these words I am still interested in domination and control and beyond. I can't stop being excited about the world created in my hands, no matter how evil it may be. That's why I love BDSM.

I want to continue to dominate the world, just like the old man continued to dominate in the epilogue.

Domina ririka profile page RIRIKA Profile

11th runner:Jun

"That's a comic strip that rightly verbalizes SM." I was told many times that this was the case, but I didn't really care to read it.

Why is that? Because I knew that if I read it, I would be attracted to that relationship. Isn't it too attractive to be able to form a relationship with someone only after a life-or-death situation?

What I sympathized with was the stance of suffering that Kakihara, the villan, had. I also enjoyed how he asserted that "pain is not something you feel, but something you think about."

When Kakihara confronts others who are trying to inflict pain on him, he does not seem to be afraid of them.

Rather, he seems to be begging, "Let me be afraid!" Kakihara's actions and words often make the people around him fearful and describe him as crazy.

However, if you understand his stance, I think you can somewhat...understand it.

If we follow Kakihara's principle, when we are the one inflicting pain, we should not find personality in the person we are confronting. And we should not relax our hands in sympathy with the pain.

I have a great deal of sympathy for the saying, "Pain is something to think about."

I suppose there is a preference that I genuinely like pain, but it surely does not require a relationship. If anything, even a partner isn't necessary.

The kind of play that is purely for the love of pain and the desire for deeper scars is the kind of play that can be enjoyed alone. In order to feel the value of pain more than pain, it is necessary to have Inevitability and relationship.

Inevitability is "the reason or the process that leads to the pain."

Relationships are a major reason to give strength to this inevitability. In our common language, the scar "she" created has a meaning.

Maybe I can't be "Ichi" to Kakihara when I understand this. LOL.

What I find difficult to understand in this story is the main character, "Ichi".

Looking at Ichi, I think that when one exercises pure violence that has no logic of any kind, childhood is an important element. This is what one might describe as pure innocence.

Another characteristic of Ichi that should be noted is that he sees his opponents from his own closed world.

Although he is looking at the other person, he does not recognize the other person as the other person.

He is applying someone else from his own past memories, so it could be said that he is fundamentally denying the existence of the other person.

And because we do not establish an emotional relationship with the other person, he will never be aware of this distortion.

It feels good to see Ichi kills others so easily. The scene in which Ichi, who is oppressed and creeped out in everyday life, weeds out his opponents with a special kick is like a hero show. That is why it is also creepy.

He does not look back at the person he killed, nor does he regret remembering it. The world Ichi sees is like a virtual world that goes on forever.

In the fierce chase between Kakihara and Ichi in the last scene, a peculiar situation arises in which an unidentified old man does play-by-play from beginning to end.

In the midst of this, it is revealed that the inevitability that Kakihara refers to is in fact a fragile one that can only be established with an understanding that does not definitively threaten safety. (that's how I got it.)

I feel that the result of this obsession with inevitability has turned into a tremendous comedy. I feel something unfathomable in this old man, but I think he is the closest in thought to domina.

The essence of the old man is his willingness to change even himself in search of something interesting. The chase in the last scene was probably the ideal situation that old man had in mind.

I would say that he carefully arranged the inevitability of what Kakihara said, and finally reap all of Kakihara's stance by the absolute violence of Ichi...or remind Kakihara that it was meaningless.

I am not confident that I can summarize this well because it has so much information. Then, how did I feel after I've read this? My honest impression is that I was genuinely jealous of them.

Domina jun profile page JUN Profile

10th runner:Roca

I would like to share my thoughts on the manga "Ichi the killer".

The main character in this manga is a young man named Ichi. The other main character is a yakuza named Kakihara.

Kakihara is a masochist who likes to modify his body, with a scarred face, a ripped mouth, and piercings all over his body. Kakihara is my personal favorite, not only because of the impact of his appearance, but also because the more I read about him, the more his lovable character stands out.

One of the most memorable scenes is when Ichi and Kakihara finally confront each other at the end of the book, and Kakihara is so looking forward to it that he ties himself under his clothes in rope bondage. How cute!

As I read through the manga, I found myself thinking about you masochists many times.

I thought of the sub who was waiting for me with the same self-bondage. I also thought of the masochist who looked forward to the session and prepared tools to push himself further, and of the sub with the pierced penis and the one with my name engraved on him.

Sympathetic scene : It takes a moment to get it done, like cutting and killing. But the real pleasure is to do it little by little. I don't do these acts, but I like to torture them relentlessly. Especially, I like to torture nipples. So I sympathize with the jiggle feeling. And when I do it, it feels good to do it thoroughly!

After all, Kakihara's feelings were packed in the concluding scene. The more he is tortured, the stronger he becomes. The scene where the man who seemed to be invincible tasted despair for the first time and ran away crying.

This is my interpretation of the scene, but Kakihara must have been so happy that he couldn't stand it. The last finger to hold on to life, and the desire to lose even life.

Ichi made him feel that way. This is the moment when the two of them matched their bumps and dips. Kakihara, I'm happy for you. That's my impression.

Sometimes during the session, the masochist tells me that he would love to die like this. In reality, I and the masochist are only as good as our lives.

Domina roca profile page ROCAI Profile

9th runner:Hibari

Personally, I like the movie version of "Ichi the Killer." Because Tadanobu Asano is too best casted. I think he is the best cast for Kakihara's madness.

However, I am glad that what I had in my mind before becoming a domina became a tangible thought through the dialogue of this movie, so I think the original is also very good.

Well, hello, this is Hibari. This column is about "Ichi the Killer," which I talked about in relay column 2 a long time ago, so I took the time to think about it.

As an aside, I wrote that I am not into masochists like Kakihara, but now I don't think anything of it, so I really want to rewrite column 2.

As I mentioned at the beginning, there is a link between some of my thoughts and Kakihara's view of SM.  What do you think is true kindness?

Is it unconditional love without reward? That is like the Virgin. If you were to ask any woman around here, "What type of man do you like?" And she would reply, "Well, someone who is kind, at least?" I don't think the weight of "kindness" that leaks from our arms is not present in the basic answer she gives.

True kindness. If I myself were to give it to someone, I would want them to accept it all in its entirety.

Kakihara also said. "When you give pain, you should feel the joy of giving pain," and "that is the best consideration for the other person." In other words, it is "terrible" if you give a half-hearted blow to the partner in session. This is what I think.

I don't know what the capacity of the partner is, but I imagine it must be a hell of a time when the dominant underestimate the capability of the sub, and to have the session proceed on a self-imposed scale.

The word "inevitability" appears several times in this work. To me, it refers to the conflict. I don't feel any excitement or realism in a session without it. True kindness is good when both people know the form and the path.

It is not just violence. No, from the outside, it might be considered violence, but from my point of view as someone who lives in the field of SM, I saw it as a story about a way of life.

Domina hibari profile page HIBARI Profile

7th runner:Towa

I was head over heels when I received the subject. I read it in one sitting over the summer because it was placed there like a recommended book, but it didn't really stick with me at all, only leaving me with disgust and a headache.

I didn't even like the illustrations. I have forgotten the details of the book. I don't think I want to develop from this work into a story of my own this and that, BDSM and perversion. Nor do I want to read it again.

Whenever I come across a work, whether it is a comic, a print, a video, or a stage play, that requires a lot of effort to create, but I find it boring, I wonder if the author ever got bored, lost interest, or felt like giving up on it.

Well, it depends on what people find interesting. What did the author want to do? What did he want to convey? I have to write a relay column, so I thought about this work for a while, and the only thing that came to mind was this.

~By Towa, the one that tends to say things that are coming to nothing these days. ~.

Domina towa profile page TOWA Profile

6th runner:Tsukasa

With each turn of the page, I was swallowed up by the story. Sometimes I smiled, sometimes I grimaced, sometimes I scowled, and finally I laughed out loud. "Ichi the killer" is a crazy, violent action film set in Shinjuku. It was great.

Now... What I want to talk about this time is not the main character, Ichi, who is also the title of the comic ...... but about the yakuza "Kakihara" who is the other main character. With a big scar on his face and a lot of piercings, one would think that he is an intelligent and calm person like a young yakuza leader, but as the story progresses, his "masochistic" nature is relentlessly depicted. He is a lovable character who is creepy, nasty, and egotistical, but whose charm is heightened by his perversions and madness.

Such is the case with "Masochistic yakuza Kakihara." I found myself nodding my head and saying "I know, I know." I would like to introduce two phrases that I couldn't help but read and think about over and over again.


(i) How should we view "pain"?

Talk about Ichi the Killer


"Look, don't feel the pain. Think about the pain."

"It's not the skin that controls pain. It's your head."

From a torture scene early in the book. He hangs his opponent's body and repeatedly interrogates him, threatening to ruin his back tattoos, and finally, just before he pours hot oil on his back, he says these words. The situation is outrageous, but I think this line by Kakihara is very important in SM, and above all, it is a part of what I often tells masochists in my own sessions.

I think that "feeling" pain with skin, flesh, and bones is only one premise, and I want them to go beyond even "thinking" and chew and "taste" a lot with their brains. This is why I am talking about meaning and context, and I think it is ironic that Kakihara is torturing someone without "inevitability" (see below) and telling him that it is not SM. It is also a scene that I like because it is not SM but just violence, which makes it seem like torture.


(2) Interpretation of "inevitability" in SM

Talk about Ichi the Killer


The word "inevitability" is used repeatedly by Kakihara in the middle to the latter half of the story. I will refrain from going into details because it would spoil the story, but when I see Kakihara pursuing the inevitable for his own SM, being pushed around, and going wild, I think to myself, "I love it! He's having fu!" and it makes me feel excited.......

This is my interpretation, but I think that "inevitability" in SM is an inevitability which includes "a coincidence" that even contradicts the meaning of "inevitability". It does not mean a made-up plot or cause and effect. It is the inevitability that includes unreasonable situations, unmanageable behavior, and unpredictable things. I think it is precisely because of inevitability that we can "think about pain" as mentioned earlier.

That is why I think that "pursuit of inevitability" itself, rather than "inevitability" itself, is what makes SM exciting. The same goes for the relationship between the dominatrix and the masochist who are there, and even the people and environment around them are involved to imagine what is to come. Not only do we enjoy what is given to us, but we actively construct it. Based on this, I think that the occurrence of "truly unimaginable coincidences" is the despair, happiness, and SM that transcends the inevitable.

There are some violent and grotesque depictions in "Ichi the killer," but that is why the depictions that question spirituality stand out, and the energy of sexual perversion explodes in them, which I think is what makes it so interesting that the brain is swallowed up. Above all, I realized once again that I like to watch works that depict the world of yakuza, where unreasonable, unrestrained, and vile violence is rife, and where mysterious rules and justice are spread in a seemingly chaotic and distorted manner.

Domina tsukasa profile page TSUKASA Profile

5th runner:Ruiko

I strongly remember one scene in Ichi the Killer.

I read it just after I started being a domina, so it was over 10 years ago and only that one time. I'm not a fan of violent expressions in movies, comics, novels, everything, so I haven't read it repeatedly, or rather, I can't read it. ...You may be surprised to hear me say that. Many of the works I have managed to read through while dropping out halfway through or feeling sick. I try not to think back to the brutal scenes when I finish reading them.

However, I do think back over and over again to one scene in Ichi the Killer. It is the scene where Ichi talks with a mysterious woman in a teleclub. The woman is a masochist and describes a situation that excites her. She said something along the lines of, "I get aroused when I imagine the feeling of despair I get when my body is sliced, starting from the tips of my toes and ending up at my heart." This must have been what she was talking about.

At that time, I was surprised and thougt "this is it!" It was the same as mine! I thought to myself. I was happy to know that there is someone in this world who has the same feeling and can verbalize it appropriately. Just to be clear, I did not want to be sliced in half. I just thought the situation was brilliant.

As I have written in several blogs and relay columns, when I was a child, I had an imagination that was my favorite, even though I didn't know it was sexual. I imagined a woman trapped in a phone booth who couldn't hold it and peed herself. There was no "I" in that imagination. I didn't know her, a faceless woman. I know now that the important part was the feeling of despair: "I can't hold it in, what am I going to do, I'm so close... oh no..." But I seem to be even more aroused by the frustration of the process of getting there than by the despair.

During SM play, I seem to inflict pain that is impossible for a calm outsider to see, perhaps because I am turned on, as a matter of course. But when I step out into the pain I inflict for the first time, for example, a strong resistance arises. Within myself.

Now, if I move my hand just a little more, something terrible will happen. When I go over it with all my might, I feel a tremendous rush of pleasure. My vision turns sharp and red.

I, who have a strong resistance to violent expressions, am excited by the process of actively approaching and crossing it. When I go beyond the frustration, the stronger the frustration is, the more I am excited.

Domina ruiko profile page RUIKO Profile

4th runner:Riche

I finished reading it. It was long! And exhausting! But it went by so fast!

When you think about it, it's a net two-week story or something. The speed is amazing. It's the kind of work that could be the subject of a ten-part discussion series... I wish I could keep it casual and compact for a relay column. I noticed on the wiki that I had read "Homunculus" by this author, which was more spiritual. This work is quite materialistic and entertaining, with a story line like a royal battle manga, except for the grotesque depiction.

Now, as I was reading it, I suddenly remembered that there was a time when I was craving for violence. I was craving for crude and primitive violence, before the whip, slap, and other forms of SM. But that does not mean that I went downtown every day to get into fights.

When you are attracted to violence itself, there is probably no distinction between committing violence and being subjected to violence. Aggravation and tolerance are essentially the same thing. In the case of girls, there are social norms, so it is only natural for them to flow into fantasies that place them on the side of the oppressed. However, in this manga, the person who has drifted toward the oppressed side is the leader of the homosocial yakuza society, a man who is quite macho both physically and in terms of his position.

What is the point of division as to whether he channels the river of desire to the side of the desire to perpetrate or to the side of the desire to be oppressed? Perhaps this is where the essential part of the film lies.

This fundamental desire for violence is perhaps also a desire for power... I think that if we were to summarize it broadly, it would be a desire for the "other side". The other side of everyday life, the other side of consciousness, the other side of general society. When you are a child, you think the world can be conquered. Is it just me?

Well, as you grow up, you naturally and unconsciously learn that there are some things in the world that are beyond your control and unreasonable. My upbringing was not normal, and perhaps my mental development was delayed, but this "realization" came not gradually, but all at once.

I was so enthusiastic and free that I thought, "If I can get out of this environment, I can do anything I want to do!" But when I made an effort to get out from under the narrow control and confronted society and others, I found that I was too weak to stand up to the world.

I think such despair makes us seek the "other side." And even the desire to be oppressed, which at first glance does not seem to be a desire for power, is essentially a desire for power. I will talk about this again after I have made up a good theory to convince myself of it.

It's been a long one, so I'll leave it at that for now. I am also an "S" person who cries a lot.

Domina riche profile page RICHE Profile

3rd runner:Mia

This story moves along quickly once you start reading. Coupled with the places I often visit, I can also experience the thrill of what might happen in places you don't know.

My personal favorite character is a man named Kakihara.

He says, "Beautiful because there is no love...there is love because there is no beauty!"

I like to do SM with love because I feel masochists as comrades on a perverted path. But I feel his words have opened up a new path for me. If love can be a limitation of my action, it is another way to face it, to throw even that love away for a moment and face it with pure interest and aggravation toward the other person.

Kakihara, who says that the absence of love is love, has broadened my worldview vertically and horizontally. However, I don't think it is easy to remove limiters or break down inner walls and restrictions. Our behavior is easily influenced by our emotions and we unconsciously try to stay in a safe place. That is why the clash and heightening of the S and M that occurs in SM is a good thing. We can learn new aspects of ourselves from each other and continue to go further as long as there is life.

Yes, as long as there is life. Often my favorite characters leave the story in the middle of the story, and I hope that doesn't happen in real life. I want to see masochists with their M desires, who, deprived of hope and dead to despair, come back to life with their endless desire, like zombies, over and over and over again, for as long as it takes.

Reading Ichi the Killer, I hope that all masochists can keep their minds and bodies healthy while maintaining their unlimited greed.

Domina mia profile page MIA Profile

2nd runner:Yurina

I have written in my blog before about why I have been avoiding looking at SM... "Too precious for me to touch", and just the other day, I remembered one more thing. Let me start with that story.

When I was 20 years old, I went to a SM bar for the first time with a friend of mine. A mistress there pointed at a masochistic man there and said, "Try poking him with this stick." We took turns and started poking him. With an ordinary stick that was not for SM, and with almost no fear of injuring him. Poke, poke, poke ...... 

To my surprise I lost my memory in the middle of it. I don't know if it was a few seconds or a few dozen seconds, but I don't remember. I came back to myself at the man's voice "Hey, hey, excuse me, stop!" I came back to myself and at the same time I was terrified.

I thought to myself, "No, no, I must not do SM. I would cause them unwanted hurt and pain."

I was so excited that I completely forgot myself. (I must have had a great expression on her face, because the mistress said to me, "You have a very good eye.") I had been trying not to touch SM until I was 20, and then I tried lifting that ban for an hour. I banned myself from touching SM again.

That's right. Because I really wanted to try to kill someone. There was a man lying on the floor in front of me. I just poked him with a stick while sitting on a chair. And then he was in pain. I guess my reason went somewhere as he looked pained and scared.

Now I think the man was scared and put a stop to it, not because of the pain, but because of my expression, the killing look, etc.

And...oh, yes. I don't think I want to kill people at all these days. That's also what made me think, "I could try being a dominatrix, SM club, I'll try it."

I used to envy people who had killed people. "An elementary school girl killed her friend," and her motive was "I wanted to know what would happen if I killed her." I cried with envy. I wish I had been like her....

Now, I've made a very long preface, but I was asked you to read "Ichi the Killer" and write down my impressions of the book.

"What is this? Is it a yakuza story? I don't like this kind of male-oriented stuff." I read on...

Halfway through the book, I thought to myself, "If I read this, won't it make me want to kill people again?"

Listen, everyone!

It didn't! I didn't feel the desire to kill at all. That's good. I almost went into a period again where I couldn't touch SM again, heh. But it's a strange thing, isn't it... I was hoping to write somewhere about the other reason why I didn't touch SM, when I got the subject for this relay column. I read it and oh my goodness. It is a comic that makes you feel pain and death...or something like that.

So, what did I feel?

First of all, I am not good at reading manga, but I read it in one sitting at a great pace. It's a very fast-paced manga, with lots of heart-pounding and laughter.

I also thought that sexuality is a strange thing. My sexual kink probably started when I was a kindergartener, but in the case of Yurina the kindergartener, I was excited by "making them cry." In the case of men, it is easy to tell because they ejaculate.

Whether or not they can ejaculate with it seems to be one of the criteria for whether or not it fits to their kink. Even if they cannot ejaculate by themselves, they can do it by some trigger, by someone's word, by someone's action, unintentionally or otherwise.

By the way, a question has arisen in my mind. Is it an adult thing who can put a stop to himself/herself, or is it who can let himself/herself go, in terms of kinks and other things? Which is the "adult thing to do"? I think it would be the happiest thing for me to be able to liberate someone's sexual kinks. At your first opportunity, with my words, with my actions, you may ejaculate unintentionally.

You may have discovered the joy of more than ejaculation. You taught me the joy of playing with people while keeping them alive, instead of killing them.

Domina yurina profile page YURINA Profile

1st runner:Chloe

When I was little. I had noticed a stack of cigarette stained comic magazines in my brother's room, Unlike my brother, I was forbidden to read any kind of entertainment, so I would repeatedly sneak into his room, steal a look at them, and fly back to my room.

Without knowing what it meant at the time, I flipped through this omnibus-like picture book of naked men and women, it was burned into my mind that there was one story in particular that evoked both discomfort and a strange excitement that made me gouge my solar plexus out every time. I just don't know the name of it.

At any rate, my mother found out shortly afterwards,

"You've been reading those nasty manga! Sit down right there! Okay? People who are naughty will go to hell. Just like your father ......!"

And so began the usual speech, and after listening to it for a moment, the magazine disappeared without a trace, and I had not seen it since.

Therefore, I was horrified.

I read through the manga, which was packed in a paper bag with the words "must read" written on it, and I came across again the pictures of that day and that time, the lines that were slightly different from my memory, and that scene.

That was this, "Ichi the Killer."

Was it a hint that led me to where I am now?

Ichi is a cruel and weak man whose name sounds like "Boy A" when read phonetically.

Is it congenital, acquired, or both?

Ichi is so devoid of common sense, emotion, and everything else that it is beyond pity. The primitive childishness and the overwhelming power of not devoting resources to his brain. To those who have no hesitation when forced to clutch at legitimacy, I call them weak.

It is the masochistic representative, Kakihara the yakuza, who makes his heart leap at this yet-unseen monster without knowing the background. This familiar tenacity....

The stimulation they seek, and the position they stand in are the exact opposite of each other in everyday life.

The bully who seeks power relationships. The bullied child who wants to get along with everyone. Politics based on desire, born from the spinal reflex of the wild sense of smell. Psychological warfare and brainwars that take place on top of that...

But it is still a so-called "animal way" covered with fur, passing the edge of ordinary school life. It is an extension of those days that hurt Ichi so deeply.

I wonder if I should follow their example, but I am sure that these people have their feet firmly planted on the ground.

I was looking for the key to the future of my life, but my sense of smell was damaged by the thick concentration of out-of-this-world perverts, and the task was difficult. Although I read the book under the heading of anthropology, I was forced to look back on the session every time I heard this Kakihara's comments.

The only thing I could think of was.

What is love? Each coarseness is so powerful that when the seldom found piece is hooked, it can wipe out a life. With a certain stimulus, we become intoxicated. A certain stimulus brings you back to yourself. Enjoying it. We search earnestly and sincerely for our own limits. That single-mindedness.

This is a work that makes me want to meet you.

I will read it again, and again, in secret, with a certain determination. Just like I did back then.

Domina Chloe profile page CHLOE Profile