TOHKA

"The thing that I put the most effort". What is it? Why did I become like this in the first place?

I was planning to do everything I could here, and then leave. Is it because I can't do "not seeing anything", "not listening to anything" or "not feeling anything" forever when I'm here? Or is it because now I'm utterly afraid to return to the darkness in which you kept giving up on people? It's gonna be a long story, going back to my roots. Oh, how many characters does this column have? Let's summarize the conclusion briefly.

1) How much "I-want-to-do-this" which is generated by the partner can I do? 2) "How much can I enjoy with the partner" as I continue to raise the issues? These are the two important points in my sessions. HERE YOU GO!

The theme is “do you have any books, music, movies, art, etc. that have impressed you about BDSM?

Since I was the last one in the past series, I'll be the first batter this time. It's hard to pinpoint this when you say it's about BDSM! I'm a sucker for works with strong, beautiful women in them!

However, there is a lyric card that I always looked at before I left for the sessions when I was about a year into La Siora. The lyrics of the song "I’ve seen it all,” from a movie Dancer in the Dark. When I listen to this song, I'm like, "I've seen it all, there's no reality left for me anymore.” That's how I felt. I was invincible in that state of mind when I first started having sessions...

When I was a beginner in SM, this song was on endless repeat in my head, so I can't leave it out as this is one of the most impressive works.

A dream is just a dream. One day I'll wake up, but until then. It's a little different from BDSM, but it's engraved in my heart, so it's definitely engraved in my roots.

You want me to talk about the ideal. An ideal is something you want in your heart, isn't it? And here's about the dungeon.

Then I will be talking about an ideal that you can't see the goal. Because it's an "ideal". This is a column in which I talk about things that seem to be impossible to achieve because my head is highly affected by various fictions.

In a nutshell, the ideal room is one where it's easy to "get injured, healed, and do it again." For more a realistic ideal, I would say a place with good hygiene. To be unrealistic, I hope fresh wounds to heal quickly. I know some of you like it and some don't. If you feel ecstasy by prolonging the aching wound, it would be a waste to heal it immediately. I know I can't "break the balloon and put it back together", so I want to repair it as best I can, and inflate it again soon. Heal and do it again. Heal and nicely give it another go.

Therefore, the ideal dungeon would be complete after adding various useful medical functions. I'd love to be in the never-ending nightmares opening our eyes. The body is the capital of kinks. That's it, this is the romance domina Tohka.

They came to domina Tohka with the hope of playing hard. I hit them a little bit because it felt good. They walked out crying as they were beaten. "Domina Tohka is a jerk," and then, with no one to hit, domina Toka stopped hitting. They taste the injustice, and become unhappy adults.

That's what hard play is all about. Life is short to begin with. There is no future. We are already in "hard mode" in life. I know it seems presumptuous, but isn't it already a reward when you wish for hard play? However, I think those who are concerned about whether the play is hard or not have already tasted the absurdity in life, as they seem to be thinking about the top or bottom, win or lose, so I like them.

I wish they ask for hard play knowing the cruelty of the world. If you want to taste the hard, I recommend that you don't lose one second of your mind to the outside world. The earth is a crazy place.

You want words of encouragement? Go for it!!!!! If you work hard, you might have a future where a group of high school girls might say "cute~" to you someday! If high school girls don't feel right, maybe you'll have a future where you are so popular that dominas will fight over you! I don't know! "No matter how many dicks I have, it won't be enough, mistress~!" Okay.

The next question is what you would like to do once the corona virus converges. First of all, I have been dreaming of the "same place" lately. I have frequently dreamed of being in "that place" since the state of emergency was declared. At one point, I was chanting sutras until I woke up in "there". Sometimes I dream of being locked up in "there", sniffing some kind of gas, and dying.

"There" is a game center. Toka-san wants to go to a game center. I don't care if it's a fighting game, a sound game, an arcade game, or whatever. When Corona virus converges, Toka-san wants to go to the game center without thinking about anything. Right now, I want to play medal games. I really do, desperately. Very much so. It won't be possible for the time being, though. So, please encourage Tohka-san too.

It took me a while to figure out how vaguely I could tell you that I didn't like the question. And that's where it took me a while. It's fun to talk about it lightly as a theme of conversation, like "this is the image song of that domina!"

However, the theme is the song of "myself." As for the answer to the relay column, it is "There is no such thing." It's not a very interesting answer, so I'll explain why there is no such thing. Music and sound give us inner growth. They give us a larger perspective on the psychology of the universe, and they help us break free from the pain of reality and heal our bodies and minds.

It is thanks to music that we don't have to deny that there is such a thing as virtual space. It makes me realize that there is no logic in the world of dreams. Strangely enough, when I listen to good music, my view of the world expands, and I also feel as if I have found my true self. It will also make you feel as if something inside of you is being expressed. Feeling is essential to good art. I understand that. However, if you try to describe it as being close to your own theme, it becomes an elusive feeling. In the first place, if I decide that this is what I want to do, my ideas tend to be limited. Hence, it is shunned to say that this is close to my theme. I don't need the pleasant sense of mental position that comes from saying it.

Still, there were songs that I thought were my theme songs. The only thing is that as I listened to that song hundreds of times, I stopped engaging my brain.
I stopped using my brain to predict the next note. I like to predict and be surprised. When my predictions are betrayed, I want to strengthen my next prediction. I can no longer say that my theme song is a song with a predictable ending and no expectations, because I no longer predict what will happen next. Isn't it a lack of respect for "immutable things" for a variable person to claim them as their own? Even I have ambivalence.

Therefore, it is not a subject I want to think about too much, because it would be troublesome. So, I don't have "my" song, but I do have a song that plays in my head when I watch masochists. It's "It's Important" by the Important Man Brothers. Which is the most important thing, not to lose, not to throw away, not to run away, or to believe?

I'm on a roll, and I need some moxa and stimulation! So the time I want to visit most is 20 years ago in La Siora.

But where? With whom? It's not that I want to have a session with the members from those days. With whom? When I thought of who, three people came to mind, although the time frame was different from that of 20 years ago, but the first one was a member who I had a session I wanted to redo. The other two were my parents.

"La Siora 20 years ago"
"The session I want to redo"
"My parents I want to beat them up like I am now."

I can't decide the answer to this question because I can't throw any of these out.
So I'm still thinking about it. I'll probably keep thinking about it for the rest of my life. Probably until I die.
But I'm tired of thinking about it, so I'm turning my back on myself!

I've only given you a very brief answer, but it's good enough!
I know nobody wants to wait for an answer that I want to keep thinking about until I die. If it becomes too much trouble, sometimes it's better to turn away. It's sad that I'm not like a queen, Tohka-san! I can't stop crying! Don't cry~!

Because in the end... Is there such a thing as a playful world?
But the truth is, if it were possible, there are a session I'd like to play again after feeling the atmosphere of 20 years ago, and two people I'd like to shake down and drag into my worldview.

How did I get to that point? That's what I'm going to write in my blog. I don't know, I don't know.
It's too difficult to verbalize. If it's too difficult, I guess we shouldn't have invented words!
Maybe it's better to have remained a beast that could be relieved just by putting its body close to yours.

So, we shoudl learn from animals once in a while. I don't want to live in the moldy past anymore, I want to live in the future. I want to be mentally handsome. Okay, bye!