GARASU

I love secrets. Creating my own secrets. Uncovering others' secrets.

As a child, I was desperate to keep my true nature hidden from others at all costs. All the adults praised me as "a kind, considerate child."

While it's true I naturally tend to be gentle with people, I can't help but wonder what expression they'd make if I hurt them. I've always been fascinated by physically harming others—not for pleasure, but out of pure intellectual curiosity.

The human body is fascinating. Since opportunities to see someone get hurt right before your eyes are rare, I wanted to know what would happen.

My philosophy is that if someone truly desires it, there are very few experiences they shouldn't try.

But if I acted on every impulse, adults would scold me with "I never thought you were that kind of kid," so I kept myself firmly in check. I've never suddenly punched someone out of nowhere.

The dissonance between others' perceptions of me and my true nature—the fear of that being exposed—all mixed together until I began taking pride in the very act of keeping secrets.

I hid constantly, never revealing my true self to family or friends. But continuing like that into adulthood just became boring. After all, if you never reveal your desires, you'll never meet anyone who'll let you indulge them—and that's no fun at all.

So playtime alone is over now.

Let's play together instead. I want to see what face you'll make when I uncover your secrets, hurt you, and make you mine.

People often tell me that I'm different from their first impression once we start talking. When they get to know me a little better, they say they can't tell which version is the real me.

All of me is real, and yet none of me might be. If there is any truth to be found, it probably isn't singular. To be honest, I might have lost track myself. Since childhood, people have always called me a kind person, but I seriously doubt whether that was genuine kindness.

Everyone has multiple personas, but mine seem particularly extreme. Perhaps I'm still incomplete as a human being.

The only thing I can say for certain is this: I genuinely want to know everything knowable. Right now, SM for me is just a means to satisfy intellectual curiosity - my goal is to learn what expressions people make when hurt, what sounds they make, and how I can make them have expressions that excite me.

That's why I want to talk with you a lot. I want to understand what's inside your head, and I want to hear how you perceive me.

From among my many selves, please try to find what you consider the essential one. Through various experiences, I too want to determine who I really am.

Now, let me say this just in case because I don't want to make you uneasy: sadistic solo play is the worst. While I might make suggestions, I fundamentally have no intention of forcing anything that's truly unacceptable - you can rest assured about that.

Though if you genuinely don't mind anything being done to you, that would be a different story... but please take care of yourself for safe and enjoyable play. Well then.

now printing